It was one of those questions that people either do not have an answer for, or refuse to share their answers because of their fear of what may happen. And so the person or child is brushed off and sent somewhere else to seek answers. Either way, options are few.
We can (again) brush them off, which effectively sentences them to a life of giving the right questions to the right answers from the wrong places. We can make a nice, polite joke about how the person asking those questions is really growing in to manhood or womanhood. Or , we can create another generation of people who have to experiment in order to get a respectable answer to a challenging question.
I did not take either route. I promised my kids that they could ask me any question, and that I would answer them. There were no age limits or gamesmanship. My response to his question: Why do you ask?
he said to me……dad another murder turned acquittal has taken place, and people were in the streets sharing their concerns. He went on to say: They keep on saying that these men were found innocent of murder. But dad, the people in question were guilty of murder because they shot someone. How can a picture with their face and their gun “not ” be a smoking gun?? How can that be right?
I sighed, and my head fell faster than a roller coaster. We are working hard to find cures for cancer and other illnesses that were once thought to be incurable. But still we cannot find a way to bring the races together without it being for a fight or a debate.
I don’t have an answer , son .I don’t have an answer.
It all depends on what your true motivation and ultimate goal is. If your desire is to get their attention, then you email a manager or someone else in the leadership team and express your concerns. In this age of social media, no company would take a chance on having something go viral, especially something that amounts to a $20 mistake.
Another option is to create some form of system to share the best and worse customer service stories. You could have your friends email you the stories, and use your blog to share great stories, and sad ones.If you do this weekly or daily or as often as necessary. companies will reach out to you.
For example, I would nominate Chase Bank for the business that I will no longer do business with award !! Why, you might ask? Because I have been a banker with Chase for almost 30 years. My money has been a fixture in their bank for what seems like an eternity. And then, I did the unthinkable! I did something that I will pay for …… forever!!
I applied for a job!! OMG yes… I asked Chase to hire me. Now, I know what you are thinking…..well, I don’t ! But here is what I was thinking. I bank with Chase. I get a job, working for Chase. I get a check from Chase. I cash it, at Chase, and put the money where? At Chase bank!! Keeping it in the family. We all win!! But Chase said no! All I can think of is…..I’m good enough to bank there, but not good enough to be an employee.
I am reviewing my options……….
Am I wrong?
It was a quiet Sunday. A day that would be perfect for a question. Hey dad, he asked: can i have a playground for Christmas?
hmm. that’s a tough one One that would require a creative answer. I started by asking him to face a couple of facts. First, there is an old adage that says that the road to hell is paved with good intentionsl is true? he wasn’t sure. I told him that it was not true, and that the road to hell is not paved with good intentions. I’m not sure who came up with that old adage, but it is not true. I’d rather say that the road to heaven is paved with confession and belief Wait, that’s not my point.
You watch the local news and at least once per month they are doing a feel good story . It is a story that touches the hearts and minds of all those who hear about it. It compels those that tune in to do something. Something different. something amazing! That is not what I’m trying to say.
Often times, the philanthropic moment takes place in a church recreation center or on the basketball courts. The children are elated! the parents are moved to tears! Everyone is on cloud 9. And here lies the problem!
Why oh why does the magic moment have to take place on a playground ? And why does the star of the show have to a basketball? Are the children promised a basketball scholarship once they graduate? Is the National Basketball Association promising these kids a job after they graduate? Does the playground provide invaluable skills that the kids will use for a lifetime?
Playgrounds do not train student athletes? Do they give they offer skill trades training for kids that are not NBA bound? What happens when the kid graduates and the household income has only increased by a penny? The temporary elixir that is the basketball court has done nothing but lead the kid down to a dead end. now what ?
I’m not saying that community investment is a bad thing. it is a good thing! But there has to be something behind it. We are paving the road to depression and despair. We are setting them up for an even greater failure than the one that they will receive if we do nothing at all.
A 7 letter word for activity and punishment meted out by a group of women and women who only want to fit ? You have men and women who are essentially exchanging a chance to pledge for their lives. They are fed alcohol until they pass out. They are given water until the water becomes poisonous. They are beaten and verbally abused and sometimes left for dead. And all that is still not enough to get them “in.” What’s worse, as if something could be worse, is that those who are abused today will be the ones doing the abusing tomorrow.
They treat you like crap. They do things to you that can best be described as inhumane. The end result….death; sometimes. Other times, you survive but are never the same. Of course, I am talking about the hazing. It seems like fun to some, kinda like a group bully program. Not only that, but where else can you go where the prey chases after the hunter. Kids want so badly to pledge that they allow themselves to be mentally and physically whooped.
It still happens. People are still so enamored about the prospect of pledging, that they trade it for their dignity, their reputation, even their lives.
But, why is it that institutes of higher learning cannot make this go away? Why must a parent with a college aged student have to get a phone call stating that their kid wanted so badly to pledge that they let down their guard and lost their lives?
Why are there no marches or rallies for them?
something has to change……
There I was….strolling through the kitchen, on the prowl like a jungle cat. It’s 3 AM, and I am again looking around for something to answer the question: What shall I eat? If only it were that easy?
This is more than just a story about the joy of Oreo cookies. It is not about being a predator or satisfying hunger. Actually, it’s all about something a lot bigger.
Any writer, good or bad, has moments where the hand and the heart are willing and able, but nothing comes out of the pen. Try though you might, you are left with a piece of paper, a blank piece of paper. Writers Cramp.
The pressure mounts. Self imposed deadlines only add to the stress and the anxiety associated with the blank piece of paper that rests before you. Sports! Football season is beginning and baseball is heating up and basketball has had a very active offseason and all of a sudden you have tons of material with which to massage and relieve the writers cramp.
And then you look at the newspaper and the front page of every paper has some witty anecdote about the President o f the United States and all of a sudden you have gone from being a writer without a cause to being a writer whose cup runneth over.
You are now tempted to write something quick, easy and topical. You can now load up and write blogs that will last you a month if not longer.
But you must not give in to your temptation. You must hold on to what you think is right. Once you have cured the Block, you are more likely to know how to a handle it if it comes back again. Temptation must be met with mental strength and resistance. Y( must be prepared to deny your body and cravings, telling yourself that you cannot win if you keep giving in. If you stick with it, you will find that temptation becomes easier and easier to manage. Give it a shot! o f a sudden. I’m going back to bed….sans cookies
Someone asked me about the gift giving business for children. What about it? Well, it hasn’t changed for decades. We essentially went from Barbie and Ken dolls to gadgets, and nothing in between.
We went from baseball gloves to soccer balls to cell phones. Is there or has there been a revolutionary concept or gift idea that changed the world, the neighborhood, the block? the living room?
Hmm. Take it a step further: look at the anniversary gifts between husband and wife. Paper and diamonds and this and that… there is a methodology behind anniversary that keeps it vibrant; keeps it going.
Probably cannot experiment on the wife, but it is something to think about. What type of plan can be put together for young people??
age 5 first phone
age 8 memory upgrade on their electronic device.
age 11 Your choice
age 13 Wardrobe upgrade
age 15 license
I’m not thinking that this is a finished product, but it will definitely start some conversation between kids and parents. Imagine calling your kids too the table to sit down and discuss what gifts they want! I think my little people are going to be thrilled to know that I have that much faith in them, and am willing to allow them to have some input in their gifts.
so, as the sun sets on another summer vacation, wouldn’t it be cool to be able to work with an Amazon or similar Big Box on a plan to spend more money with them?? Think they’ll complain??
We live in a time where compliments are passed out too often, but not enough. Go to a kids sporting event. and listen. One team can be up by 1,000 points, and the coaches and parents and friends are clapping and celebrating like it is a close game. There is a difference between encouraging and celebrating. Encourage is what you do when your team is losing by 100 and makes a good play. In short, you want to incent the right behaviors and coach the wrong ones.
Parents and educators are trying harder than ever to lift the spirits and skill sets of their players. Making them better doesn’t mean that every action is met with applause. IF your aim is to make them better, then it has to start with honesty. My son and I talked after every one of his volleyball matches. Win or lose, I started out by saying “good game.” I was proud of the effort. We went on to discuss high’s and low’s. I let him tell me what he and the team could have done better.
I love to celebrate the effort. I want them to have given it their all, and be proud of themselves for trying. I know this sounds a little petty, but’ I’ve watched teams get a 50 point lead, and their coach continues to yell at players and try to score more points.
I’m not a coach , but I want what is best for my children.. I want every bit of feedback that they receive to be valuable. Not within my control! But your feedback will probably stick with them longer than the feedback of any other person.
Hey Dad….a buddy of mine laughed….I knew thee was something a little crazy coming, so I prepped myself for the coming question.
Then He Hit me with the question of the month. What does the “A” in Steven A Smith’s name stand for?? We started laughing all over again. Then, the answers started flying , in:
I complimented them for their cowardice, and challenged them to sharpen their pencils and do it again tomorrow
Dad, I’ve got one for you!. Thinking about the days of Mr. Mom. At A time when television was just beginning to acknowledge and support the concept of single parenting .More and more dads were shinning the light on dads stepping up. They were putting careers on hold and focusing on their kids. it’s now 2017, and we have not come full circle , we’ve gone backwards. Male led households are dysfunctional and comedic. The dads are poor examples, and are okay with that.
Dad: why don’t men get credit for being good parents?
Where to begin? First, we should not generalize! Some dads have traded a promising career for a chance to be a part of the entire maturation process experienced by their children. You still only get one shot to be an eyewitness to the growth of your children.
But there still exists a bias towards females as it relates to child rearing. Step into any courtroom where there is a custody battle, and you will find a judge with a sympathetic ear towards mothers.
Why don’t dads get credit? Some do. But the best way to fix that is to fix the current parent model and address the dad stereotype. Have dads show up for musicals and recitals, and not just their kids’ g0ames. Dads will forever be viewed as the fun parent, until they change the public view..
Dad; August is here, and pretty soon the streets will be filled with yellow school busses and plaid uniforms. People will be getting up earlier and coming home later and later. As a result, houses will become quieter. Parents will be left to have riveting conversation with the television and their dogs. I’m looking forward to it. I am! Well maybe I am a little. Maybe I’m not.
When they are gone, it’s just me. The cooking and cleaning does not bother me. A clean space is a beautiful thing. But the problem is that the silence can become boredom, and boredom becomes depression. How can I address being bored? Is there any solution in sight?
That is a great question. So many make their families their lives, and forget how they used to enjoy themselves. The great mistake made by millions of families is that they make their children (or spouses) responsible for their fun. And if that person is not up being the minister of fun , then the household takes a hit.
If you want to keep your house in order and have fun at the same time,, all you need is a plan. Start by documenting your current schedule. You want to make sure that the schedule is in 1/2 hour increments. you don’t want to document the 2 minutes that it takes you to fill the candy dish. Once you have your schedule documented, the next step is to find time to schedule some cheap fun. You may have an open spot between noon a and 2:30. Invite a friend out for coffee or go and play a couple of video games at the video arcade around the corner. Or go and catch a movie! All of these things would address your need for a break without ruining your schedule. Coffee with a friend may cost about $5 bucks. A trip to the video arcade may cost $10, and a movie with popcorn may cost about $10 as well. The point isn’t to find Black Tie events (not yet anyway …) but this would be a great start.
Let Me Know How It Goes