We live in a time where compliments are passed out too often, but not enough. Go to a kids sporting event. and listen. One team can be up by 1,000 points, and the coaches and parents and friends are clapping and celebrating like it is a close game. There is a difference between encouraging and celebrating. Encourage is what you do when your team is losing by 100 and makes a good play. In short, you want to incent the right behaviors and coach the wrong ones.


Parents and educators are trying harder than ever to lift the spirits and skill sets of their players.  Making them better doesn’t mean that every action is met with applause.  IF your aim is to make them better,  then it has to start with honesty. My son and I talked after every one of his volleyball matches. Win or lose, I started out by saying “good game.” I was proud of the effort. We went on to discuss high’s and low’s.  I let him tell me what he and the team could have done better.

I love to celebrate the effort. I want them to have given it their all, and  be proud of themselves for trying. I know this sounds a little petty, but’ I’ve  watched teams get a 50  point  lead, and their coach continues to yell at players and try  to  score more points.


I’m not a coach , but I want what is best for my children.. I want every bit of feedback that they receive to be  valuable.  Not within my control! But  your feedback will probably stick with them  longer than the feedback of any other person.

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